As early as May, I was already anticipating the long weekend vacation on Independence Day. I wanted take a vacation to somewhere “historical.” Since my visit to Taal town last year, I thought it would be a nice gesture - and R&R - for this shutterbug lakwatsero to make visiting places steep in history a personal tradition. As the long weekend approached, certain circumstances developed and prevented me from realizing this tradition. By late Thursday night, I really lost all motivation for holiday travel. But somehow, without really being conscious of my actions, I ended up doing things that more or less befit this “tradition.”
On Saturday, I was still craving for something to pamper myself. At my hunny’s suggestion, I decided for dinner that was more “lavish” than my usual. My usual would be carinderia fare, usually from one a few meters across the street where I lived. At my hunny’s suggestion I decided on Restaurante Pia Y Damaso (in Greenbelt). (I once had placed the restaurant in my mental to-do list.) Considering the restaurant’s motif, I think I’ve somehow indulged myself a bit of that personal tradition-in-the-making. But there was something else flavored into this dining experience as well.
Before I took dinner, having really nothing purposeful to do, I wandered a bit in Greenbelt and ended up browsing in National Bookstore. I was convincing myself that I was just looking. I was forbidding myself not to contribute more to my ever growing collection of dusty unread books. Of the several book purchases in the last two or three years that remain unread, some have already been borrowed and read by my book-voracious friend Eon. Who coincidentally was to be my dining companion, together with his partner Jayce.
So while going and just browsing in usual bookstore sections of interest, I thought I was already winning in my mental battle to restrain myself from impulse buying. I was about to leave right after Eon texted me that he’s en route to the restaurant when a promo shelf caught my eye. Several of Ambeth Ocampo’s books were on sale. (Getting an Ocampo book was also in my mental to-do list.)
I never got to buying an Ocampo book because the nagging side of me always argued on behalf of cost-benefit (e.g. a book that may never be read versus savings to cushion impact of obligations a.k.a. bills). But the irresistable appeal that got me buying finally was three-fold: the 101 Stories on the Philippine Revolution was available in newsprint (the bookpaper version was prohibitive cost-wise), it’s packaged with two other books (three combined approximated cost of the bookpaper version), and buying all three got you a free shirt. (You may now call me a promo-sucker cheapskate.) While in Pia Y Damaso, I browsed through 101 Stories - read that article which attracted me to the book the first time I saw it - and was conveniently our occasional conversational piece during dinner.
Prior writing this, I was reading the book again - I’ve time to read as I have no Internet connection at the moment, thanks to the rains that have probably battered my ISP’s facilities (again). More than once Ocampo reminded his readers - both implicitly and explicitly - to learn from this part of the Philippines’ checkered history. This reading was really getting me to thinking: in between occasional experiencing of creepy crawling feeling under my skin, in the process of reflecting, I also at times feel frustrated and helpless, even ashamed of our “forefathers.”
It’s not a bad book. (Well, typography-wise it is, could this be the reason it’s on sale?) It is very engaging in fact. But many things it reveal - more clearly than before, I’d suppose - are things that can be easily dismissed as “bad.” Here I’d read about insincere people in Biak-na-bato, two-faced lying leaders from United States, opportunist ilustrados in Malolos, Tirona-esque black propaganda, Artacho greed, and some more. I’ve re-acquainted myself with Indignation but where or how do I take this further? More than what I’ve done that I think qualify me a good citizen, what could I really do?
At least, as a tribute to our so-called Independence, I passed through the weekend shakened by History cleared of the sanitation (simplification) of the usual Araling Panlipunan textbook.
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